yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
