Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
