The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
