If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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