I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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