I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
