The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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