put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Randomize
