I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
