so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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