I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
its not stalking. its research.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
