Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
