I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
please come you make the beer taste better
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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