That's when you crack a 10am beer
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
