He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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