My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I touched a dick in church today
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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