areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
