A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
