Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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