I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
