he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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