I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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