Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
