if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
