Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
