well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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