What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
