We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
