I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
