On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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