wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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