New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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