It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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