She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
