When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
