I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
