Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
