You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
BRING THE BAGELS
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
