butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
