your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's shark week go big or go home
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
