it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
