Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
