Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
