Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
