...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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