I bet he comes in French.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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