Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
