oh god the rape fog is back!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
