Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Welp...herpes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
