Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
