Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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