How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
